Life is Fickle but God is Good
I desperately want life to be easy. Not only do I want it to be easy but I often expect that life will be good to me. When hardship comes and my expectations are not met, I can even get frustrated with God. I know I’m not alone in this. So many of us expect life to be good and we’re afraid that God is fickle. The problem lies with our expectations. In John 16:33, Jesus tells us to expect hardship and suffering in this life. Yet so many of us are still surprised when suffering and trials come.
What if we changed our expectations? What if instead of expecting life to be good, we took Jesus at his word and expected life to be fickle? Think about it–life is full of good days and bad days. There are moments we want to remember as long as we live and there are moments we want to forget right when they happen. In this life we experience joys and sorrows and we experience pleasures and pains. It’s time for those of us who call ourselves Christ followers to stop confusing life with God. Life is fickle but God is good. God’s goodness is not dependent on our life’s circumstances. Regardless of whether we are having a day to remember or a day to forget, God is good. Whether we are experiencing joy and pleasure or sorrow and pain, God is good. This reality is written all over Scripture. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the clearest evidence we have of God’s goodness.
It is time we change our expectations. Let’s stop expecting life to be good and God to be fickle and let’s start expecting life to be fickle and God to be good.
3 Prayers That Will Wreck Your Life
I recently reviewed a book I had read a number of years back by Craig Groeschel called “It: How Churches and Leaders Can Get It and Keep It”. In this powerful book, Groeschel writes about three prayers which he believes will revolutionize a leader’s faith in, and impact for, Jesus. When I initially read this book I wasn’t ready to pray these prayers. My life was too comfortable and these prayers scared the crap out of me. Well, my life is no longer comfortable and my desire for more of Jesus is becoming greater than my fears. Here are the three prayers I am beginning to pray for myself.
- Stretch me
- Lord, do whatever it takes to stretch my faith that I may love you more, seek after you more and live for you more. I want to fear nothing but sin and desire nothing but You.
- Heal me
- Father, heal me of my pain and the bad habits and sins that have formed as a result of that pain. Instead of living to please and impress others, I want to live to please only you.
- Ruin me(this is the one that scares me the most!)
- Lord, break my heart for the things that break your heart. May I weep at the things which make you weep and may I rejoice in the things in which you rejoice. I want to love what You love and hate what You hate.
Are there any prayers that you are currently praying which God is using in your life?
The Rule of 5 – How to Better Lead Yourself
Leadership experts say that the hardest person you will ever lead is yourself. My experience reinforces this truth daily! I continue to discover that I often would rather lead any one else besides myself.
The past few years, I have been trying to discover a great way to build good habits into my daily schedule. I’ve read books. I’ve tried a plethora of iphone apps. I’ve even asked mentors to hold me accountable. Nothing seems to work.
What I’ve realized about myself is that I hate the constraints of a regular daily schedule. I get bored really easily. Maybe it’s the ADD or maybe it’s the result of being born to a teenager in Berkeley in the 1960′s. I’m not entirely sure. What I do know is that I lose focus when my schedule is the same day after day. This is why I like the Rule of 5.
A number of years back, I heard leadership expert John Maxwell speak on the Rule of 5. Maxwell’s Rule of 5 consists of 5 actions he takes every day that move him towards his goals. These are his most important actions. Maxwell’s Rule of 5 consists of reading, writing, thinking, filing and asking questions. They are the 5 crucial actions that he takes every day to move his life and business forward.
I’ve recently started instituting my Rule of 5. My rule of 5 is somewhat different than Maxwell’s but it is specific to my life and ministry goals. Every day, I read, write, pray, connect (network) and move (some form of exercise). I schedule these actions the night before and I do them every day with the exception of my day off. I am experiencing greater success with this than any other method I’ve tried. I even find myself looking forward to these times.
What are some of the methods you use to lead yourself into a better future?
I am the Angry Church Lady
As much as I hate to admit it, I share a lot in common with the angry church lady who values church benches more than little kids.
So there I am at a local church. I’m at a Cub Scouts meeting with my eight-year-old son. The boys are running around having a blast. And yes, they are running around on the benches that surround the church planter boxes. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, the angry church lady sticks her head out of the office and yells,
“Don’t run on the benches! That’s our agreement with you for you to use the church.”
She then returns to the office and shuts the door. All of the kids look pretty confused but it doesn’t take them long to return to running on the benches. I am incredibly annoyed and immediately begin formulating responses to her in my head that I later have to confess. After my initial anger subsided, I began thinking of “better” ways to respond to her:
“Preach it lady! Isn’t that what Jesus said in Scripture? ‘Let the children come to me… As long as they don’t run on benches.’”
However, the entire time I kept thinking that I really am not much different than the angry church lady. Sure I could care less about the stupid benches, but there are many times when my value system is just as upside down. I can just as easily refuse to sacrifice my values for what Jesus values.
I really do want to love what Jesus loves and hate what Jesus hates. It’s just much easier to criticize someone who doesn’t do this than it is to become someone who does. My prayer out of this experience is that God would transform me into someone who embraces His value system while sacrificing my own.
Sleep: A Necessary Evil?
O bed! O bed! delicious bed! That heaven upon earth to the weary head.
Thomas Hood
I have spent years trying to sleep as little as possible in order to accomplish more. To me, sleep was as a necessary evil. The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that my sleep patterns are both consistent and sufficient. I need 8 hours of sleep each night to feel at the top of my game. I don’t think I’m alone in this. The following are a few of the benefits I get when I get consistent sleep:
I have more energy
- This is kind of obvious but when I am lacking in sleep, my energy level is low. It’s miserable to wake up in the morning after a few nights of sleeping only 5-6 hours. I feel sluggish and oftentimes the day ahead of me looks overwhelming.
I have more patience
- The more consistently I sleep 8 hours a night, the more I patient I am with situations, friends, coworkers and family members. The less consistent and sufficient sleep I get, the more impatient I find myself. Consistent and sufficient sleep is a way to refill my patience tank.
I am more mentally focused
- I have ADD so I’m already behind the game on this one. When I don’t get enough sleep, my attention span is worse than a junior high boy who just downed five Red Bulls. This doesn’t just apply to those of us who are attention-challenged. The more consistent and sufficient your sleep, the more focus you have. It’s a scientific fact.
I am better able to be present for others
- This goes along with having more focus. It’s easier for me to love people and to walk with them when I’m getting enough sleep. Without sleep, I am easily distracted and unable to simply be with others.
I tend to be proactive instead of reactive.
- The less sleep I have, the less emotional intelligence I have. When I’m tired, it’s really easy for me to react in frustration or anger. When I’m rested, I can look at a situation with more objectivity and even proactively approach it by looking for solutions instead of letting my emotions get the best of me.
My desires don’t easily get the best of me
- Addicts know that they run the risk of giving into addiction when they are hungry, lonely, angry or tired. This isn’t just true of addicts. Our desires get blown out of proportion when we are not sleeping enough. When I’m exhausted, I can justify eating an entire box of Cocoa Pebbles in one sitting. I love Cocoa Pebbles, but no one should eat an entire box in one sitting. The more tired we are, the more sin can exert its’ power over us. And this doesn’t just apply to eating Cocoa Pebbles!
I am better able to hear the Holy Spirit
- I am a stubborn butthead that often has trouble submitting to God’s loving rule in my life. A lack of sleep feeds my rebellious, sinful nature. The more rested I am, the less my sinful nature gets the best of me and the easier it becomes to hear God’s promptings, corrections, encouragements and truth.
What about you? What benefits do you get when you consistently get enough sleep?
7 Guidelines for Effective Meetings
Over the years I have attended many meetings. Some have been amazing; many have been awful. The following 8 guidelines continue to help me as I plan and lead meetings. These guidelines can be used for all kinds of meetings–business meetings, staff meetings, volunteer meetings, family meetings, meetings about school projects and student ministry meetings.
1. Have a purpose
It’s important that you know why you are holding a meeting. If you don’t know why you are calling a meeting, wait until you do know. Also if you can, avoid any and all meetings that have no purpose. The very funny and insightful Dave Barry said it beautifully: “If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, it’s full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’”
2. Cast a vision
Open your time together by painting a picture for why you are meeting. Get people excited to be a part of what’s going to happen. Let them know what’s at stake in this meeting. If you don’t know what’s at stake, figure it out before you meet. If you aren’t excited, no one else will be excited and you will lead another boring meeting with bored people.
3. Have an agenda
Give yourself 10-15 minutes to map out a quick agenda before the meeting. Create the agenda by answering a few basic questions
- Why this meeting (i.e., what’s it’s purpose)?
- What’s at stake in this meeting?
- What 1-3 issues will be addressed?
- What information needs to be communicated?
4. Give only pertinent information
People are already overwhelmed. They don’t need more information and they ultimately aren’t going to remember much of the information you give them. Give only as much information as people need to understand the big picture and accomplish their part.
5. Keep it short
Some people think the length of a meeting is equal to the quality of the meeting. My experience is that it is usually the exact opposite. Most long meetings are a result of having no purpose (or too many purposes) and not sticking to an agenda. As a result, nothing is accomplished.
6. Write out an action and follow up plan at the end of each meeting
An action plan consists of the actions assigned to each attendee. Action plans help people understand what is required of them in response to the meeting. A follow up plan is a way to establish accountability. It can be as simple as scheduling a second meeting a week or two later to see how people are moving forward with their actions.
7. Don’t go over the scheduled time
An excellent way to foster resentment in people is to allow your meeting to late. Don’t do it! If you schedule your meeting for 60 minutes, keep it 60 minutes even if you’re not finished. If you want, finish it 5-10 minutes early. People will love you! Sticking to scheduled times communicates to your attendees that you value their time. When you go over the scheduled time, you communicate the exact opposite.
What other advice would you give about leading effective meetings?
Maximizing the Impact of Camp Ministry In Youth Ministry
In a million years, I never thought I would be working at a Christian camp doing youth ministry. Four years ago, I was convinced that Christian camps were dying. I honestly thought Christian camp ministry was outdated, irrelevant and clueless. I was sure that Christian camps didn’t understand their role in the big picture of youth ministry. This is one of the many reasons I stopped taking my high school group to a Christian camp when I was a youth pastor.
Now I am the Director of Youth and Young Adult Ministries at Mount Hermon, a Christian camp. I love my job and I believe wholeheartedly in the importance of camp ministry in the lives of students. In fact, it was Mount Hermon’s vision for three vital partnerships that enticed me into doing youth ministry in a camp setting. I now believe, more than ever, that youth ministry needs camping ministry. However, youth ministry needs camping ministries that understand their role in the big picture of youth ministry.
For camp ministry to maximize it’s impact in the lives of students and fit into the big picture of youth ministry, it has to foster and build three main partnerships throughout the year:
- Parent partnerships--Camps must realize that parents have the primary responsibility for discipling students. First and foremost, youth ministry is not a camp’s job and it’s not the church’s job, it’s the parent’s job. This means that camping ministry has the privilege of figuring out creative ways to communicate and partner with parents both before and after a student attends camp. The more parents know about their student’s camp experience, the better.
- Church partnerships–Christian youth camps must also realize that they exist to serve the church. Youth workers in the local church are the ones who will see, and minister to, these students the other 357 days of the year. That being said, we can’t expect that 1 week, or weekend, out of 51 is enough to sustain students in their faith. Any decision made at camp needs to be reinforced and worked out in the community of the local church. This has to be kept at the forefront of our minds as we plan out and execute camp programming.
- Student partnerships–It’s great for camps to follow up with students if they understand the importance of the first two partnerships. However, all of our work with students should strive to connect them with two main things: the Word of God and the People of God. For camp to be more than just a mountaintop experience for students, they must get connected to God’s Word and God’s people. If we can help them take steps towards doing this, we can help them draw closer to the God who loves them more than we could ever imagine.
What the…??!!
James 1:2-4
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
This command is so unAmerican. It’s also ridiculous. It’s even absurd. Be joyful when life is hard and painful?! This is not about “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” This is something very different. And this something spits in the face of American consumerism. It spits in the face of the very philosophy of life that I, and many others, have embraced.
Really, God? You want me to be joyful when life sucks and I’m hurting, persecuted or suffering? You want me to rejoice when life is falling apart around me? Why?! That doesn’t seem right. What could possibly be more important than my comfort and my right to a happy life?
The answer, according to James, is the maturity of my faith in Jesus. My pain, persecution and suffering can be used by God to strengthen my faith in Jesus. It’s like going to the gym and working out; it builds my faith muscles. And the end result of all of this is a mature faith which expresses itself in a deep and intimate relationship with the Living God.
The question for me is one of values. What do I value more? Do I value a comfortable and easy life where I have the right to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” or do I value Jesus and my relationship with Him? My answer can vary depending on the day or the hour.
John’s final command in 1 John is the best advice for me regarding all of this:
“Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.”
Father, keep me from the idols of comfort, consumerism and happiness. Empower me by Your Holy Spirit to find my happiness and comfort in You and not my life circumstances. Strengthen my faith through this pain that I may love and worship You and only You. Instead of wanting release from the suffering, I ask that you give me a greater desire for a deeper and more intimate relationship with You.
5 Lessons I Learned from Recess
Two weekends ago, Mount Hermon hosted a weekend gathering for youth workers called “Recess.” Youth workers came together from the bay area and the central valley to play, rest, connect and learn. I love learning and this weekend did not disappoint. Here are 5 simple lessons I learned from Recess:
- Youth workers are some of the most amazing people in the world--Youth workers give up their time, energy & resources to hang out with students who don’t often thank them or even realize the sacrifice that’s being made. Regardless, youth workers continue to be present with these students while modeling the love and grace of Jesus. Not only that, but each youth worker who attended Recess gave up a weekend of their free time to learn how to be a more effective minister of the gospel.
- We need each other–I have a tendency to think that I can do things on my own. Sometimes I am even so arrogant to think that I know better than any one else. The older I get, the more I realize how stupid that kind of thinking is. I was encouraged by spending the weekend with like-minded people who have similar passions and who are reaching and discipling youth with creativity.
- We all need seasoned mentors speaking into our lives and ministries--Our Recess speakers this year were Brian Berry and Duffy Robbins. For me, it was a blessing just to spend time with men who have been doing youth ministry for years and who have learned from their failures and successes. I could’ve spent many more hours with both of these guys just asking questions.
- You can never have too much training–The longer I am involved in youth ministry, the more I’m tempted to think that I’ve learned everything I need to learn. Yet, I always learn something new when I read, go to conferences or spend time with mentors and other youth workers. The old saying, “leaders are learners” is true. I want to continue to learn as long as I’m alive.
- Volunteer youth workers are my heroes–I get paid to do youth ministry; it’s my full-time job and that job pays my bills. Volunteer youth workers, on the other hand, have full-time jobs (or they are full-time students) yet they spend their precious free time ministering to students because they believe that they can make a difference for Jesus. That blows my mind!
Because Recess was such an amazing weekend, Mount Hermon will be hosting it again in 2012 on September 28-30. Mark your calendars and stay tuned for details!
Youth Ministry :: My Story
I didn’t come to faith in Jesus until I was a 20 year old sophomore in college. I often wonder if I would’ve gone to a youth group if someone had invited me. I’m fairly confident that I wouldn’t have. I thought Christians were goofy, irrelevant and soft. Yet, it’s my experience as a high school student that continually draws me back into youth ministry.
My high school years appeared relatively easy–I got great grades, I was involved in sports and I had a lot of friends. The problem was that I was hurting, lost and confused. I was desperately searching for the kind of life that only Jesus can provide. Even though it was over 20 years ago, I’m convinced that my experience was not much different than the experience of many students today.
For the most part, I have spent the past 15 years working in some form or another of youth ministry. I was blessed to spend many of these years as a youth pastor in a large and healthy church. For the past 2 years, I have been privileged to do youth ministry in a camp setting at Mount Hermon. A number of years back, someone I respect challenged me to stop doing youth ministry so I could grow up and become a “real pastor.” I followed that advice for a short period of time only to realize that I didn’t like being a “real pastor.” I quickly decided if being a “real pastor” meant I couldn’t do youth ministry, I didn’t want to be one.
I am officially beginning this blog on youth ministry for two main reasons. First, I want to learn. I have found that I learn much more effectively when I write out what God is teaching me. The act of writing helps me to process my thoughts in a more disciplined manner. I also hope to learn from others who have been called to youth ministry and who are willing to share what God is teaching them. The second reason I am beginning to blog more regularly is to share some of the lessons that God has taught me over the past 15 years. If I can help, encourage or bless others in the process of writing, it would be an added bonus!
I believe that youth ministry is the toughest job in the church. I look forward to learning and growing with those of you who are on the front lines regardless of whether you are a student leader, a volunteer, a parent or a paid staff member.
